The One That Got Away

I keep replaying the days.
The days when we were one.
Though it pains me to relive them,
Memories are the only thing I have left of you.

I fabricate ridiculous scenarios
In which you come back,
Even though I know you won’t.
All I have left are my dreams.
So at least let me hang on to them.

“The one that got away.”
Those words reverberate through my ears.
Why did you let me go,
If you didn’t want me to get away?

Please I am begging you.
Don’t come back. Stay where you are.
I can’t handle losing you all over again.
I can’t go through this all again.
I don’t want to hear your words.
I don’t want to be drawn in again.
I’m only the one that got away,
Because you let me go.

“The one that got away.”
Those words reverberate through my ears.
Why did you let me go,
If you didn’t want me to get away?

I’m on the ground. But leave me be.
Don’t pick me up. Don’t offer your hand.
Just stay away. Stay far away.
You left me here, alone.
Fuck you, You abandoned me,
So I don’t want your help.
You said it your self.
I’m the one that got away.

So just let me get away.

“The one that got away.”
Those words reverberate through my ears.
Why did you let me go,
If you didn’t want me to get away?

Why did you let me go,
If you didn’t want me to get away?

Hatred

Why is this so difficult?
I’ve hated others before you.
I’ve hated others for less.
So I ask the stars; why?

Why does it seem impossible to hate you?
Why can’t I bring myself to that point?
You cut me so deep. This should be easy.
So then why? Why can’t I hate you?

You stabbed me in the back.
You twisted it hard and slow.
You left me tired drained
You left me to die, so why?

Why does it seem impossible to hate you?
Why can’t I bring myself to that point?
You cut me so deep. This should be easy.
So then why? Why can’t I hate you?

I guess I’ll never understand it.
Maybe I like being in such pain.
I’ll never understand the reason.
All I know is that I could never hate you.

Never.

Why does it seem impossible to hate you?
Why can’t I bring myself to that point?
You cut me so deep. This should be easy.
So then why? Why can’t I hate you?

212°

That’s the last straw.
The one that broke my back.
You’ve crossed me for the last
Fucking time.
Just stay the fuck away from me.
This is your final warning.
If I see your face just once more,
You won’t be leaving here alive.

I’ve proven
I love hard.
I promise I hate harder.
The man you
once knew.
He’s gone away for ever.
This is your mess, It’s not mine to clean up.
If you approach me then keep your guard up.

You are the source of all my anger.
You lit the fuse and you ran for cover.
This is your one chance to keep your self safe.
One step out of line and I’ll end your worthless fucking life.

Spoken lies have woken my wrath.
Broken trust has fueled my anger.

I can’t stand you, I despise you.
You have brought my blood to a boil.

Go fuck your self.

Don’t act like you are so innocent.
You crossed the line and you’ve crossed my patience too.
If you value your worthless life.
Don’t let me catch you in my line of sight.

I am the tainted outcome of your venom.
I am a manifestation of your betrayal.
I am the purest form of your lies in flesh
I am the embodiment of anger.

Spoken lies have woken my wrath.
Broken trust has fueled my anger.

That’s the last straw.
The one that broke my back.
You’ve crossed me for the last
Fucking time.
Just stay the fuck away from me.
This is your final warning.
If I see your face just once more,
You won’t be leaving here alive.

Ghost (Revised)

Tell me what it was
That made you become
All that you swore you’d damn;
A monster to your self?
You promised me you’d never fall.
I foolishly believed it all.
You’re not the man that I recall.
You’re just a ghost of who you were.

It was never me. You are the one who has changed.

You’re just an image of your former self;
A faded shadow of what was.
Your silhouette bears familiarity,
But it’s not the same, it will never be the same.
You gave up what it was that made you who you were.
Rejected all that I held love for.
Though you breathe and have a heart that beats,
You’re the ghost that haunts me.
The ghost of who you used to be.

Your eyes are no longer bright.
Your breath is no longer warm.
You’ve condemned the man I loved.
Callously, heartlessly, Laid yourself to rest.
So conduct your final rights.
You might as well be dead anyway.
Because your actions to this point,
were clearly all for naught.

Because…

You’re just an image of your former self;
A faded shadow of what was.
Your silhouette bears familiarity,
But it’s not the same, it will never be the same.
You gave up what it was that made you who you were.
Rejected all that I held love for.
Though you breathe and have a heart that beats,
You’re the ghost that haunts me.
The ghost of who you used to be.

But now, Even though you seem long dead.
I can feel your heart still beats somewhat the same.
You’re still in there. I know you are.
Don’t let this go to waste.
Come back to those who love you.
Before it’s too late.
Prove to me you’re not a ghost.
Prove to me you’re still capable of love.

Until then…

You’re just an image of your former self;
A faded shadow of what was.
Your silhouette bears familiarity,
But it’s not the same, it will never be the same.
You gave up what it was that made you who you were.
Rejected all that I held love for.
Though you breathe and have a heart that beats,
You’re the ghost that haunts me.
The ghost of who you used to be.

But I wont give up on you.
Even if you’ve given up on me.
Even if you’ve given up on yourself.
Not yet. I’m not done yet.

Trapped Within Your Past

Oh how I crave it.

For the way things were.

Back during the time,

When I was your greatest prize.

Back when you looked at me,

With ardent adoration.

Those days seem distant now.

I’m like a child’s toy now.

Placed upon a shelf,

And my existence ignored.

Never in my life,

Have I felt so unwanted. 

My one desire;

To be loved,  

Valued, 

Wanted,

And treasured,

Seems so out of reach.

And I don’t know why. 

What do I do? 

What can I do? 

Why won’t you tell me? 

Why does it seem, 

Like I am not enough. 

I don’t want to fall, 

Into your past. 

I don’t want to lose

The most important person in my life. 

Please come back to me. 

Please let me back in. 

The silence is killing me. 

Please

All Good Things

They say “All good things come to an end.”

No, They only end if you let them die.

That’s why I am the way I am.

That’s why I’m so damn persistent.

Because I fight.

Because I won’t be another example of failure.

I will keep the good alive with all that I am.

I will not falter, I will not fail. I will not break.

No matter how tough, hopeless, or horrible things seem,

I will not give in. I will prevail.

Nothing will break my determination.

I refuse to let the good things end.

I refuse.

I’m Still Here.

I’m so tired.
I’m so drained.
I’m so tired of trying,
Only to be left feeling pained.
I miss the days
When I was your trophy.
I miss the times,
When I was your treasure.

But now…
No longer able to provide you with joy.
You’re pushing further and further away.
And I don’t know why.
I don’t know what I did.
I don’t know what to do.
I just want things to go back
To the way they where,
When I was your “One that got away”
Like before, I’m still here.
I haven’t gotten away just yet.
Please. I love you so much.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.

Anxiety

My eyes only see fire.
My ears only hear sirens.
My voice only speaks fear.
My body only feels danger.
But everything is fine.
Nothing is wrong.
So why do I feel this way?
Like the world is against me?

I’m trying to get a grip on my emotions,
I’m trying so hard to believe all is well.
But there is a voice in my ears,
And it’s telling me what I fear.

I’m fighting back with every ounce of strength.
I’m fighting back with all that I am.
I won’t let this anxiety screaming in my face
Claim another victim, and proclaim a victory.

My eyes only see fire.
My ears only hear sirens.
My voice only speaks fear.
My body only feels danger.
But everything is fine.
Nothing is wrong.
So why do I feel this way?
Like the world is against me?

I can see the truth and I can see the illusion.
I know which is fake and I know the reality.
But I hear that voice, and it lies and deceives.
It makes me unsure of what to perceive.

My eyes only see fire.
My ears only hear sirens.
My voice only speaks fear.
My body only feels danger.
But everything is fine.
Nothing is wrong.
So why do I feel this way?
Like the world is against me?

I will not let this happen.
I will not let it win.
I will not fall for this trick.
I will not lose anyone or anything.
Not again. Never again.
My anxiety will not win.

Patience

Waiting.

It was never my strongest trait.
It’s difficult for me.
I grow impatient very easily.
Sometimes, very suddenly.
It’s been the cause of many downfalls.
It’s been the reason I end up where I have been
So many times before.

They say it’s a virtue;
To have patience.
They say good things come
To those who wait.
I wouldn’t know the verity in these words,
Because I’ve never tried it for myself before.

So here’s to giving it a try.
For the right person and circumstances,
I think it will be worth it.
I may be an impatient man,
I may want things to happen so much faster,
But for once in my life, I will live in the moment.
And let the future unfold at what ever rate it may.
Because I think it will be worth it this time.
It’s time for me to put my resolve to the test.
Because I think you will be worth it.